David Bell, World Series Hero

86

2006-05-10T16:37:00.000-05:00

Thanks to consecutive home run games, Albert Pujols is now on pace for 86 home runs this season.

The way he's seeing the ball (when he's being pitched to, that is), I don't think that 60 is out of the question this season.

Also, the emergence of Adam Wainwright and his .54 ERA excites me. In my privates.

I know, I know. You're welcome.

Paging Mr. Gomez...

2006-05-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

So, Barry Bonds (ooh! His magic number is 2!) is standing too close to the BP cage and takes a pitch right off his freakin' ginormous cranium. I mean, shit. It's like freakin' Sputnik.

(Pause for laughter/dramatics/Bonds-on-Bonds commercial break)

Anyway, he's a douche. Enjoy.

Presenting: Carlos Zambrano

2006-04-21T11:26:00.000-05:00

Oh, goodie!

Seriously, Juan.

2006-04-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

I'll tell you what: Juan Encarnacion has dug himself into quite the proverbial "hole."

Not only did he fail to cap a Cincinnati rally by turning a double play by making a *routine* catch on a line drive *right* to him on a hit-and-run (then doubling off Freel, who was halfway to third by the time the catch *should* have been made), he also decided to put lead in his shoes and try to steal second.

This blog is much, much more than run-on sentances, people.

His base running gaffes have been absolutely incredible this year. Take, for instance, his stellar play in the first series in Chicago. He got doubled off at first base by Matt Murton's throw from the warning track. Why? Because he was halfway to third base when the catch was made -- and, further, didn't hustle back to beat the one-hop throw to Lee.

Ugh.

So, henceforth, he shall be known to readers of this blog as "Juantino," after my second-favorite free agent signing under Walt Jocketty's usually incredible watchful eye. Both suck, and both play on the right side of the field of nightmares.

We have Juantino for three years. Pardon my French: Oh, fuck.

WBC: It's just Carlos being Carlos

2006-03-07T13:59:00.000-06:00

I'll paint you a lovely picture: ESPN, top of the 5th inning.

"... and that's why I think that Carlos Zambrano will win the Cy Young."

Riiight. Now, here's what actually happened:
Top 5TH B:2 S:1 O:1
Alfonso Soriano flies out to left fielder Juan Rivera.

Top 5TH B:2 S:2 O:2
Miguel Tejada flies out to right fielder Magglio Ordonez.

Top 5TH B:4 S:1 O:2
Albert Pujols walks.

Top 5TH B:4 S:1 O:2
David Ortiz walks. Albert Pujols to 2nd.

Top 5TH B:2 S:1 O:2
Moises Alou singles on a line drive to center fielder Bobby Abreu. Albert Pujols scores. David Ortiz to 3rd.

Top 5TH B:1 S:0 O:2
Adrian Beltre homers (1) on a fly ball to left field. David Ortiz scores. Moises Alou scores.

Top 5TH B:0 S:0 O:2
Juan Encarnacion singles on a ground ball to center fielder Bobby Abreu.

Top 5TH B:1 S:0 O:3
Alberto Castillo grounds into a force out, shortstop Omar Vizquel to second baseman Edgardo Alfonzo. Juan Encarnacion out at 2nd.

And what is The Z-Man's line?
1.2IP/3H/3BB/4ER/21.60 ERA.

And what does ESPN's crack team of apologists have to say about this?
"If you are Dusty, you've got to be a bit concerned right now."
"If you are Hendry, you've gotta be at least a little bit worried."

Hilarity ensues.

The WBC: It's AOK

2006-03-02T19:58:00.000-06:00

Let's be honest for a minute: nobody seems to be excited about the World Baseball Classic.

That is, nobody except me. Where else can you see a bunch of foreign teams trying to topple the US and Latin American juggernauts? Certainly not the Summer Games - at least not anymore (which sucks for Australia, who won the Silver the last time Baseball will be played as an Olympic sport).

I'm excited for the WBC for a few reasons. Most notably, however, is for Japan. Sure, it's Taguchi-less (he was robbed, I know), but seriously - with the ever-increasing number of J-Ball players making their way into the majors, it has to at least pique your interest. Take, for instance, Kenji Johjima, who recently agreed to play for the Seattle Mariners.

Johjima was an all-star for the Fukuoka Softbank Hawks (yeah, you may want to fire up your web translator - that page is unreadable... unless you know Japanese). Now we get to see him try to handle a pitching staff through broken Engrish. That should be fun, right?

Japan should be a real tough opponent in Pool A play. Japan manager Sadaharu Oh virtually guarantees that Japan will emerge from Pool play with a perfect record, as they charge forward to meet the winners of Pool B in Round 2 play.

"Japan's the strongest team in Asia, in my opinion, and I want to finish as the top team," Oh said on Tuesday at a Tokyo hotel. "We have many stylistic variations. We are speedy and play thrilling defense. Maybe we don't have power like the Americans, but we have ways to cope."

If you aren't scared of the Japanese team yet, check this out: Munenori Kawasaki, Japan's hottest hitter, bats in the 9 spot. In WBC exhibition play, he's batting a whopping .777 (7 of 9). He also has three walks and a sac fly in addition.

Holy crap, he's good - and so is Japan's team. I am confident that they will roll through Pool play and make it into the Finals against one of the global "favorites." Keep your eyes open when watching the games -- you may just see the next Ichiro, Johjima or Taguchi come thundering in from nowhere, lighting up douchebags like Roger Clemens and Brad Lidge like Tokyo at night.

Catholic Priest or ball player?

2006-03-01T09:26:00.000-06:00

"I have a bigger mouth than all of these youngsters, and I think that puts me at a distinct advantage."

"Volume, that's it. Quantity, not quality. The more you get in your mouth, the better you're going to be."

(Source)

Slick Rick digs in...

2006-02-28T20:46:00.000-06:00

So... How will St. Louis remember the Rick Ankiel era?

Fantasy Baseball 101

2006-02-27T11:43:00.000-06:00

Here are some amusing tips and tricks on how to draft smart in a league full of Cardinals fans, based on my years of experience mopping up championship after championship in pay leagues:

Don't draft someone in a late round because they are on the Cardinals roster. That is, unless you like to pass up legitimate players from other teams.
Don't be afraid of the Cubs - sure, outside of Lee, it's rather slim-pickin's; however, this should not keep you from drafting off of the roster alltogether. That's just dumb.
The Royals, as in real life, are a good team to pick up quality players from. The team sucks, but guys like Sweeny and DeJesus can be good late-round pickups.
Walt Jocketty is smarter than you are as a GM. If a pitcher is traded (*cough* Ray King *cough*), odds are, he will probably have a bad season.
Pick up hitters from Coors, but stay away from the pitchers (unless you are playing in my fantasy leagues. If that is the case, then by all means, Colorado's rotation and 'pen are all yours).
If you have the #3 overall pick in a league, don't be upset when you can't get Pujols. If you have the #2 overall pick and the person in front of you takes A-Rod, you are one lucky GM (and said #1 overall drafter is probably not from the midwest).
If you can, strip mine the AL of talent. If you are in a league with a bunch of St. Louis fans, you can take V. Martinez while your friends fight over which Molina they want.
Take Chone Figgins as quickly as possible after the big bats are gone. He's the most versitle player in all of Fantasy Baseball. Plus, he's got a fun name.
Don't foget to offer a case of Busch Ice Light Dry to package with your pick to move up in the draft. You may be able to capitalize on someone's weakness.

Personally, I'm going with a new drafting strategy in my "big" pay league this year. We're starting up a 15-team keeper league, and I want to make sure that I can remain competitive for years to come, so I'm drafting by scarcity of position.

What exactly is scarcity of position? Well, let's take a look at the Outfield - chock full of sluggers and mashers. I'll have no problems picking up a productive OF. The IF positions, however, are different. There are a lot of slugging 1B and 3B candidates, but there is a big void in the 2B and SS positions. I have the 4th overall pick in a 15 team draft, so I took M. Young (SS, TEX) to assure that when the draft snaked around, I wouldn't have to worry about filling that position with a crappy bat.

When it's my turn to draft for round 2 (26th overall pick), I'm hoping to pick up Chase Utley (2B, PHI). Round 3 will hopefully allow me to draft a closer -- remember, it's a snaking draft, so I won't see another pick for a while. If I can start the run on closers, by the time the draft snakes back up to me, I can pick up a reliable 1B, then SP.

At any rate, it's an interesting draft strategy, and I hope that at least someone who reads this will find it informative.

In summary:

Don't be afraid of Cubs.
Strip mine the AL.
The Royals royally suck, but don't be afraid of picking up some players.
Walt is smarter than you.

Stop, Hammer Time!

2006-02-27T00:02:00.000-06:00

Not really Cardinals related at all, but MC Hammer is blogging.

He's apparently playing around with the Braves at training camp. Just look at those photos....

2006-02-26T21:46:00.000-06:00

It's Sunday, and you know what that means: Cardinals spring training round-ups on the local news channels. Everyone's got someone in Jupiter, so this should be interesting. Here are my impressions of said news broadcasts, thus far:

With Bonds flaky at best this year, Albert "Juuu-noh" Pujols should be the clear-cut favorite to win the MVP for the next few years. Duh. In other news, the world continues to turn, my roommate still clogs the toilet and Comedy Central's Drawn Together is not funny.
I just saw the Hee-Seop Choi/Scott Rolen collision video replayed on TV. I was at that game. I cringed when I saw it the first time, I cringe again. To this day, I find it absolutely mind-boggling that Rolen was rushed back. Looking at him swing was like watching the Winter Olympics: you want to watch, but it's painful to see.
Oh, wow. Rolen loves So Taguchi. No shit. Taguchi said that, and I quote, "Rolen loves catsup*." Rolen on Taguchi - "He's a great guy. The language barrier is tough, but he's got a great comprehension of English." They eat dinner quite a bit.
The consensus: Rolen is the only person from Indiana who can say that they have a Japanese Friend. How special!
Ponson is fat. Plus, he has a girl's name. I think that we should make fun of him. [begin]
J-Rod is J-Rod's biggest fan. I'm paraphrasing here, but you should be able to get the gist - "It's like going from being a no-name soda to being a Pepsi or a Coke." John, you are still diet Shasta Orange. Shut your word-hole.
Can we please stop the Rick Ankiel experiment? It's getting rather old. Or, to mess up a quote by Peter Griffin, "I find Rick Ankiel to be rather shallow and pedantic." I'll gladly eat a heaping plate of crow if he turns out to be the next big thing, but I seriously doubt he will. Ankiel's longevity with the team leads me to believe that he has pictures of Walt, on his knees, blowing Billy Beane.

Finally, a random observation. It's fantasy baseball time and I've been buying a bunch of roto mags to formulate my draft strategy in the umpteen leagues that I'm in. Most magazines have a prospect guide for people in keeper leagues -- lo and behold, Daric Barton is one of the biggest prospects in the entire prospect pool universe. I find it hilarious that one roto mag said that Beane "stole" Barton in the Mulder trade.

Is it just me, or was Barton never this hyped when he was in the Cardinals system? It's maddening, really.

The Mulder trade was, in my opinion, a good one. Sure, some people will argue that Haren was just as good as Mulder, and we lost Calero and Barton in the process to take on more salary -- and these people are partly correct. However, the Mulder trade was more than taking on more salary, blonde highlights and losing the apparent number 1 overall prospect in the Milky Way galaxy. We managed to trade from an apparent strength (RH pitching) and change the complexion of the rotation by adding the LH arm. We also traded a prospect and a "green" pitcher for a known commodity. Did Walter overpay? Possibly. But that remains to be seen.

The jury is out on the trade until we find out what happens with Mulder. If he re-ups with the Birds and has a reasonable contract, then it's a success. If we lose him at the end of this year (thanks mainly in part to the big-money being tossed around for mediocrity in Toronto), time will tell, and a lot of it will hinge on what happens with barton and Haren.

* or is it Ketchup? Damn you, translators!

2006-02-26T21:39:00.000-06:00

If you think this is good, just wait until I start with the Cardinals comics:

2006-02-26T21:21:00.000-06:00

Hey! Guess who just bought and sold you -- yeah, that's right, David Bell. He's a World Series hero, you know.

How did he manage to buy you? Well, he isn't poor, and you have the Seattle Mariners to thank for that:

1995	St. Louis Cardinals	$109,000
1996	St. Louis Cardinals	$125,000
1997	St. Louis Cardinals	$170,000
1998	St. Louis Cardinals	$200,000
1999	Seattle Mariners	$700,000
2000	Seattle Mariners	$1,425,000
2001	Seattle Mariners	$2,200,000
2002	San Francisco Giants	$1,750,000
2003	Philadelphia Phillies	$3,200,000
2004	Philadelphia Phillies	$4,400,000
2005	Philadelphia Phillies	$4,700,000
Career (may be incomplete)		$18,979,000

A lot of people will probably be wondering, "Why David Bell? What a dumb name for a Cardinals blog!" Well, for starters, he's capable of making a grown man cry -- and that counts in my book:

Oh, and it's always fun to see a game at Citizens Bank Park when Bell is playing. They love him there*.

Plus, lest I forget, Baseball-Reference compares the pop in Bell's twig to that of Cardinals powerhouse Todd Zeile.

So, there you have it. Another Cardinals blog, but named after one of the all-time great Cardinals**.

* And by "love," I mean "fucking despise."
** It was either DBWSH or Ankiels in the Outfield. DBWSH won in a rock, paper, scissors contest with myself -- I caught my left hand cheating.